Marriage and Family in Contemporary Society
Opening Mass of the 4th Abuja Archdiocesan General Assembly, 9th November 2023 (Feast of the Dedication of the Lateran Basilica), at Our Lady Queen of Nigeria Pro-Cathedral, Garki, Abuja. Homily by Archbishop I. A. Kaigama.
Readings: Ezekiel 47:1-2.8-9, 12; 1 Cor. 3:9-11.16-17; John 2:13-22
Another year is here, and we are blessed by God to meet at our annual general assembly. By virtue of our baptism, we are a family. I am glad this year we are focusing on marriage and family.
Happily, our assembly begins on the feast of the dedication of St. John Lateran Basilica in Rome. A wealthy family named the Laterani owned the land where the Basilica now stands. After Emperor Constantine ended the persecution of Christians, he gave the property to the Bishop of Rome as the site for a church. The dedicated building which stands there today is a symbol of the triumph of the Christian faith and it invites us to a personal dedication as Romans 12:1 says, “to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God.”
We are equally invited to dedicate our families, our communities, our nation, our continent and indeed our world to God. Just as Jesus cleansed the temple of Jerusalem, we are called to keep our body, holy and cleansed of sin. St. Paul says, “You are the temple of the Holy Spirit and God’s Spirit dwells in you” (1 Cor. 3:16). We are called to allow Jesus today to cleanse our hearts and minds, to transform us to become the radiant light of our society darkened by sin and violence. Through us individually members of the body of Christ, the Holy Spirit should flow into the world, a world so secularized that some value their intelligence and technological advancements over God.
The Basilica of St. John Lateran is the oldest and ranks the first among the four basilicas of Rome (St. Peter’s, St. Paul’s, and St. Mary Major). It is revered as the mother of all churches. It is the cathedral of the diocese of Rome whose bishop is the Pope himself. This church symbolizes not only the unity of the local church, but also the unity of the universal Church. The basilica stands as a symbol of the Church’s triumph over the powers of darkness that once tried to destroy it. The structure has suffered earthquakes, fire, and has been invaded, but each time it was rebuilt, restored, and improved upon. That is how our Twelve Apostles ongoing cathedral building at the papal ground shall stand strong and majestic, by the grace of God and with all of us cooperating.
Even though our focus in this assembly is the biological family, we must not forget our parish family, archdiocesan family, and even convents, parish houses, schools, hospitals, which are also families, where love, peace and joy should prevail.
Our family and human life Commission have work to do to get each family to return to saying the angelus, morning and night prayer together, prayer before meals, work, etc.
The synod that was concluded in Rome was an effort to strengthen our Catholic family, evangelization efforts, and to encourage the active participation on the part of all the baptized. It was far from an effort to change Church doctrines or teachings as the media speculated. What struck me most was the emphasis of our baptismal dignity which must impel us to positive action in the Church and in society. When the priest says, “go the Mass is ended and glorify the Lord with your lives,” it is a challenge to be a practicing Catholic, not anonymous, indifferent or nominal Catholic.
It struck me so much when the Holy Father in his homily at the ecumenical prayer vigil before the beginning of the Synod stressed so much about silence as essential in the life of the believer. He stressed the need to learn to be silent to listen to the voice of the Father, and to worship the mystery of God made man. The family, whether biological or ecclesial, must make time for silence, prayer and reflection. It was wonderful that cardinals, bishops, priests, religious and lay people from nearly every country of the world numbering over 350, discovered afresh the value of silence and conversation in the spirit during the Synod. Our world has become so noisy that we must make a deliberate effort to find time for silence. Our Contemplative Carmelite Sisters in the Archdiocese remind us that it is not all about action and more action. We must learn to balance action with silent reflection.
In a family, good and not good things will happen. One mistake you should, however, never make is to allow yourself to be recruited by someone, to hate another person in the family who hasn’t wronged you. Avoid making hasty and uniformed conclusions because of what others are saying about someone else. Equally, don’t inherit other people’s enemy. It is a total lack of Christian charity when you automatically make your friend’s enemies your own. Don’t make people your enemies just because they are not in good terms with your friends.
As the sacrament of marriage establishes a bond between two persons which cannot be dissolved, Dr. William K. Benedict, a lecturer advises that “couples should learn to take their marriage problems to Christ. If you take them on your head, you will grow mad.”
Let us see ourselves as a family and take our problems to Christ. When we wrong one another, we forgive, when we succeed, we rejoice together, when one is missing, we search him or her. We should avoid unfair judgment, character assassination and uncharitable/unchristian remarks or rumours. May God transform our biological families, our ecclesial and even social families to become a homely environment where we are always eager to return.
O Mary, Mother of God, pray for our families to be where we find love, peace and joy.
